Hurricane Irma

To some people, living in Florida is the dream. I have struggled with myself often about being content ever since moving here when I was eleven. I always planned to get out, but things change. You meet people that make you want to stay. There’s still hope of moving away, it’s in our five-year plan to do so, but for now, I'm trying to learn to appreciate what I have here and other things about Florida, considering I've been here now for fifteen years. But it's times like these that make it really hard. I am so thankful that I am in central Florida, that my home was strong and sturdy enough to make it through without any damage or flooding. What a relief, because I honestly don't think I was prepared enough for if it had. I spent all week prior preparing. We spent more money than we had because “better to be safe than sorry”. But I guess, is anyone really ready for something like that? It's so hard to believe that it's worse further south and my heart hurts for them and Texas. 

The projections for Irma were all over the place all week. But one thing seemed to be consistent according to the news: it was definitely a hurricane for the books, expected to be large enough to cover the entire state at one point. It was very hard having this in the back of my head for days, waiting for it to finally arrive and not knowing what to really expect when the time comes. I kept my mind busy all week preparing, cleaning up my front and backyard and reinforcing our fence, getting what supplies we could that were still available. But at night I couldn't sleep because my mind ran me through every worst case scenario and I was unable to mentally prepare for any of them. I have two XL dogs and three cats that mean the world to me and I was unable to come up with a mental plan that ensured I'd be able to take them all to safety in the event of severe flooding or losing the roof. These things kept me awake at night. 

The last two nights were obviously the hardest. The projections for landfall and when it would make its way to us here in central Florida changed a lot and the waiting was excruciating. 

We lost power at about 10pm Sunday night and were expected to get the brunt of the storm anywhere between 12am and 5am. All we could really do once we lost the power was try to get some rest and hope we wake up in the morning to the storm gone and our homes safe and sound. We are so lucky that the dogs didn't have any accidents in the house even after not wanting to go out all day or night. (We actually had four dogs and six cats total and some friends stay with us). 

I managed to fall asleep shortly after midnight and woke up to my whole house being shaken and tons and tons of rain pelting my windows. The sounds of 100mph winds terrorizing our home were unreal. I can't tell you how many times I questioned whether or not there was a tornado outside. I had a pretty heavy panic attack sometime around 2am that lasted a good hour or two. I counted Mississippi's 1-60 at least 100 times to focus my mind away from what was happening and my orange cat Oliver let me pet him for every Mississippi. He was by my side all through the night which brought some comfort. Somehow my dogs slept through the night, even my Great Dane who has storm anxiety. I still can't figure out how, but I think at this point I should just be grateful. 

My husband kept telling me it was going to be okay. And part of me knew he was right, but it just didn't stop the pangs of terror and panic every time my house shook or I heard the wind swell right outside my window. Anytime I thought it was settling down and I was calm enough to doze off, the house would tremble and the wind would roar outside and it felt like it was never going to end. 

Between the strength of the storm and 6 loud and crazy cats, none of us got any sleep. I don't know about the others, but my exhaustion level had me feeling like I was on another plane of existence. The storm was gone, but now what? We had no idea what we'd find outside or how everyone else did. We had no idea how long we'd be without power. One thing we did know is that we were so grateful the worst part was over. All we could do now was move forward.

*Update*

It is Friday morning and my house is still without power. We are really lucky we don't have a lot of trees here and that we also sit on a small hill so there was no water damage. Most everyone I know has power now including my mom, who is letting my husband and I and our zoo stay at her house for now. The first few days after the storm seemed apocalyptic. No power. No gasoline. Restaurants were closed or were closing because of supply shortages. Luckily things are slowly starting to go back to normal everywhere. Everyone is coming together to help one another and knowing that is comforting. It is really hard still being out of routine and missing my own home. But I am so grateful every day that power is all that we lost.